5 Ways to Propose that are Completely Cliché

Let me start off by assuring you guys that I am a hopeless romantic through and through. But I'm also a self-proclaimed realist and the purpose of this blog is to be real and to tell you what's up. I'm writing this on a Monday in between aimlessly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. And you guys know what Facebook Monday's are all about. Your sister's bestie, your co-worker, and your dog groomer are suddenly sporting some serious hardware. While you single people are rolling your eyes every time you see a new engagement status and are reevaluating your life, and while you already married people are checking out the ring, I am digging in the comments for “the story.”

The story is where it's at for me. I want to know the time and thought invested, not the money. I want to know how far he was willing to go to get the girl. I want to laugh at the mishaps and the things that didn't go as planned. I want to swoon over his stuttering and I want to be swept off my own feet by this romanticism that proves love is actually every dang thing it is cracked up to be. Yes, I am an absolute romantic.

Perhaps my standards are high because my husband planned the perfect proposal. It may not be perfect to you, but it was for me (see photos above and below). I adore Christmas lights...like to the point of thinking that there is probably some unknown correlation between world peace and Christmas lights. Anyway, my husband spelled out "Marry Me" in Christmas lights. And hired my best friend/professional photographer to capture the surprise. After the moment ended, my friends and family were waiting inside for an engagement celebration. As perfect as it all was, my absolute favorite part was hearing everyone tell me that he was having trouble remembering how to spell "marry" as he put up the lights. In his defense, it was Christmas-time and "merry" is a frequent word association with the holiday season. The point is, the story of it all, is so us. And his proposal was designed in a way that told me he knew my heart and would spend the rest of our lives learning more about my heart. After all, isn't that what marriage is?

Now here comes the realist in me. As much as I love a public profession of undying love, as much as I love scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and seeing who got engaged over the weekend, as much as I revel in the thought of two people committing to eternity...sometimes I can't help but shudder at the monotonous, uninspired stories of people proposing.

Of all the ways to propose, of all the inside jokes you have, or memories you share, you can't tell me that putting a “Marry me?” fortune in a Chinese cookie is the best you've got. Nope, the romantic in me won't accept that. I also won't accept the ring being at the bottom of the champagne glass. Please tell me a scenario in which this was a good idea. It's hard to say yes to forever when someone is giving you the Heimlich. Seriously, why is this a thing?

Cliché Number One

The jumbotron. Okay, I get it. If sports are your guys' thing and your first date was at the ballpark, I'll allow it. But please note that this has been done thousands of times by thousands of guys. And sometimes the timing can be tricky on this one. What if your girlfriend is scarfing down nachos when it flashes on the screen? Have you had ballpark nachos before? You don't look up when there are ballpark nachos in your lap, you just don't.

Cliché Number Two

Spelling “marry me” in roses and candles. In a hotel room. With a bottle of champagne. I cringe when I see these hotel room proposals on Facebook. I do not want to see your hotel room lit up with candles and rose petals. I feel like if I keep clicking through your photos, I'm going to see something that I can't un-see. Ever.

Cliché Number Three

Proposing at a wildly popular tourist attraction. This one I don't hate as much. If your significant other wants to fly you to Paris and propose in front of the Eiffel Tower, I think that's pretty romantic, especially if its in a place you two always talked about going to. Just be aware that you probably won't be the only one proposing there at any given time.

Cliché Number Four

Popping the big question on Valentine's Day. If you do this, your engagement is likely to be overshadowed by millions of other engagements, surprises, and romantic gifts that people will be posting online and bragging about. As far as clichés go, this is kind of a big one.

Cliché Number Five

At a restaurant. I'm a firm believer that food should be a part of every big event in your life, but the idea of getting proposed to at a restaurant gives me so much anxiety. Everyone is staring and waiting for your reaction. And honestly, what do you do after getting proposed to at a restaurant? Do you like, finish your meal?

Now I'm not saying that these methods of proposing aren't romantic or worth pursuing. I'm simply letting you know that it's been done. Over and over again. Put some thought into this. This is your once-in-a-lifetime grand gesture of love. Trust me, you can find a way to propose that will be meaningful between you and your soon-to-hopefully-be fiancé. Maybe other people won't get it or won't appreciate it, but the important part is to make it memorable and meaningful for the two of you!