Style for the Mother of the Bride: Find a Look That's All Your Own

Finding a mother of the bride or mother of the groom dress is difficult: you don’t want to look like Queen Elizabeth, but you also want to avoid any resemblance to a Kardashian. 

 

Here’s the scenario: your daughter or son gets engaged and you’re so excited you can’t keep yourself from looking online.  Thus begins a journey that is difficult and dizzying. Even though it sounds contradictory, the choices are varied and monotonous at the same time. Either the dresses look identical to the bridesmaids – one-shouldered, short wispy things not realistically worn by most women over 40 - or they’re so draped in heavy fabric and jackets and shawls you can’t even figure out how to put them on. There’s got to be something in between!

 

Kathy Jonas, managing editor at WeddingDay, spends a private moment with her  daughter, Amy, before  the big moment.  

 

Some lessons learned...

 

 

 

 

Don’t wait until the last minute to look for your dress. If you order one from a bridal shop, it could take several weeks for it to come in and alterations are a must. A bridal shop owner told me that most moms put themselves last and then find themselves stressed out trying to find something in time.

 

 

Do take a friend or confidant with you to help make the decision. Lots of your friends’ children are married, so if you like what they wore, spend a fun morning trying on dresses and having a nice lunch or glass of wine afterwards. Make sure to make an appointment. Bridal shops are extremely busy on Saturdays.

 

 

Matchey matchey between the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom is not necessary. The key is to feel comfortable, confident and most importantly, happy. Maybe deciding whether you are both going to wear short or long might be suggested, but very few photos will feature both of you. Color coordination with the wedding palette might be advisable, but is not critical. 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking off a few pounds beats wearing uncomfortable, binding undergarments. Thank you Weight Watchers. There’s no way you want to spend the day of your child’s wedding unable to breathe. But if the stress is too much and the pounds did not come off the way you hoped, there are miraculous products out there and some are made for summer heat. 

 

 

If you’re uncomfortable about your arms (and most of us are, by the way), forego the overused and cliché jacket or shawl and look for a dress with lace sleeves or three-quarter length sleeves. If you like the layering idea, a bolero could work. 

 

 

Trust the professionals at a bridal salon: they look at mothers often and can help you select a flattering style that’s best suited for you. It’s kind of the same theory as the bride but on a different level - find one that fits your personality but also makes you feel special: it is one of the biggest days of your life. You want to feel your best as you celebrate your child’s milestone. 

 

 

 

 

 

Rouching, a good cut and draping will hide a variety of figure problem areas. There’s no need to say more. 

 

 

Try on your shoes with your dress and walk around the house. My puppy opened the shoe box and ate the heel of my shoe, which resulted in a frantic search for another pair of somewhat stylish, yet comfortable footwear. I reluctantly replaced them with some sandals with sparkly stuff (that’s a technical term) on top. Once at the church, I discovered the sparkly stuff was snagging the bottom of the dress with every step. In comes the best friend with scotch tape to temporarily cover the top of the shoe. 

 

 

Neutrals are extremely popular again and you can never go wrong with them. Black is not a preferred choice but there are other colors like plum or navy that flatter if you’re intent on going dark. 

 

 

It’s cliché, but it’s true: relax and enjoy this day with your friends, family and new family members. I love the photos with all four parents grinning in a kind of silly, unrehearsed, authentic way. A big smile is the best fashion accessory anyone needs.