Wedding Etiquette: The Unwritten Rules All Guests Should Know and Follow

Weddings are universally recognized as times of celebration and great joy in all parts of the world and across all cultures and traditions. However, it also has to be said that weddings aren’t like any other festivity or party; they are formal events and, as such, they come with a host of rules and protocols, which can cause a bit of confusion and complicate things for attendees since not everyone is familiar with the dos and don’ts around these special occasions.

Even though weddings these days tend to be a lot simpler and have far fewer rules than in the past, it’s important to follow the ones that still stand to ensure everything goes smoothly and everyone has a great time. So, if you want to feel more at ease and avoid embarrassing faux pas next time you’re in attendance at a wedding, you might want to keep these unwritten rules in mind.

RSVP On Time

The best time to respond to a wedding invitation is as soon as possible. The bride and the groom need to have their guest list ready so they can finish preparations on time. This means you can’t just call at the last minute to confirm your presence because plans have already been made without you.

As a responsible adult, you should be able to figure out your schedule and respond in a timely manner. Most invitations state the reply deadline on the RSVP card to avoid any confusion. In case they don’t, you should send your answer at least four weeks before the wedding.

Wearing White is Off the Table

There’s only one person who can wear white to a wedding, and that person is the bride. Wearing white as a guest is known to be a capital sin, so there’s no excuse for breaking this rule. This doesn’t mean you should only avoid wearing bright white but also off-white, pastel and pale-tone outfits that could be easily confused with a bridal gown.

You might also want to avoid the color palette of the wedding venue since you probably don’t want to look like you’re part of the décor. The invitation should give you a clue on the theme and color combinations used at the event. If not, you can always ask the bride or the bridesmaids about it.

Follow the Dress Code

Some couples also choose to specify the desired dress code on their wedding invitations, which can be a relief for guests who don’t know what to wear. Respect the dress code if there is one, or choose an outfit that is suitable for a formal event if there isn’t. That should clear out all confusions regarding clothing choices.

If you’re a bridesmaid, you’ll probably have to wear what the bride decides. If you’re the mother of the bride, there’s a huge selection of mother of the bride dresses in all colors and styles that you can choose from. If you’re still not sure what to wear, pick a dress that is elegant and can easily transition from day to evening.

Don’t Be Late

Yes, the service and party can and will start without you, but that doesn’t mean you can get there whenever you want. If everyone would do the same, wedding ceremonies and receptions would turn into real fiascos, so take traffic into account and make sure you are punctual. In fact, you might want to show up a few minutes earlier so you can have enough time to touch up your makeup or attire and look fabulous in the photos.

Put Your Phone on Silent

We know that technology has become an indispensable part of our lives and that smart devices follow us everywhere we go, including at weddings. However, that’s no reason to be inconsiderate and have your phone ring during the ceremony or spend the entire wedding looking at your screen. Before you arrive at the venue, set your phone to silent and keep it in your purse for the rest of the event.

Don’t Bring Uninvited Guests

Wedding crashers are only funny in movies. In real life, they’re a nuisance, and this is a huge faux pas that can cause unnecessary distress to the couple and even ruin the entire atmosphere of the event, so it’s something that shouldn’t ever be considered. Weddings are not public events where everyone can come as they please. There’s a reason couples make a guest list; they have a budget they need to stick to, and you shouldn’t be the one to change it. It’s also generally considered impolite to ask to bring a plus one.

Dressing Up is Better Than Dressing Down

Even if the dress code isn’t clearly stated or if you’re going to an intimate wedding where you know things are going to be more relaxed, you should still put an effort into looking presentable. So, if you have to choose between wearing jeans and sneakers and wearing an elegant gown, choose the latter. It’s better to be dressed to the nines than look like you’re going to the convenience store to pick up some snacks. If you’re going to stand out, at least do it in style and look spectacular.

Family and Close Friends Aren’t Exempted From the Rules

Wedding etiquette applies to all attendees, so family members and friends don’t get a waiver just for being on the insiders' list. On the contrary, since they usually play a more important role in the wedding, they have more responsibilities and have to follow even more rules, not to mention they face more intense scrutiny. No matter what kind of relationship you have with the bride or groom, you have to stick to the etiquette.

As a final word of advice, you should party within reasonable limits and refrain from doing anything that might disrupt the event or draw attention away from the couple. As long as you are polite and use common sense, everything should be smooth sailing.

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