Wedding Stress: Keeping Everyone Happy Including Yourself

Wedding stress is inevitable. You're basically planning a party with a hundred-some guests and committing yourself to spend eternity with one person. What's to stress about? Like I said, planning an event that requires seemingly insurmountable details will bring about stress that is unavoidable. However, managing the stress is completely, 100 percent doable. Own that thought. Hold on to that thought for dear life.

The three essentials of keeping the stress level to a minimum, while simultaneously keeping EVERYONE happy, are communication, prioritization and compromise.

Putting the details and finances aside, I firmly believe that one of the most stressful elements of wedding planning is what I call “the key stakeholders.” The key stakeholders are the bride, the groom, the wedding party, parents, family, and anyone else you deem to have a say in your wedding. Depending on how much help (time-wise and financially) you require from these people, you can determine how much “say” they have in the planning process.

First and foremost, yes, this day is about you. But it is also about your significant other. You know, the other half of the equation? Be open and honest about your expectations and vision for your dream day. Planning this day together will require constant communication. And if you've gotten this far, you must have learned to communicate. A successful marriage will require constant communication so this will be valuable experience! Secondly, those joint expectations and visions will need to be conveyed upfront to the other stakeholders. Airing out the tension, delegating roles in the wedding, and finding out what everyone can contribute to the wedding should be done immediately. Don't be afraid to ask for help—that's what your wedding party is for. Don't be afraid to say no—it's your wedding. And don't be afraid to be honest—if you don't want to wear your mom's veil from the 80's, just say so. The more upfront you can be right away, the less confrontational you will have to be later on.

The second essential to wedding planning is compromising. My mom used to always ask me “would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?” In the instance of wedding planning, this translates into “would you rather get your way or would you rather be happy?” In other words, you can waste time and energy fighting to get your way or you could decide that maybe (insert situation here) isn't the hill you want to die on. The sooner you find out what things you can let go or compromise on, the closer that happy, euphoric feeling is! Okay, confession: my reply to my mom's question was always, “being right does make me happy, Mom.” But I never told you guys that I actually take my own advice.

And finally, prioritizing both the details and the people will put you on top of things. Decide whose opinions and input are important to you and disregard the rest. Everyone is going to have an opinion about the details of your wedding, whether it's about inviting plus ones or the champagne chicken. I personally would recommend considering the opinions of the people footing the bill, but that's just me! When you prioritize the people, you'll find that prioritizing the planning is much easier. You will need to determine which details are most important to least important. Obviously, checking off the bigger decisions on the list should be done before the less important ones.

You will notice that these wedding planning essentials are also the same three essentials emphasized in a successful marriage. There is a reason for that, so take note!