A Word of Caution to the Bridesmaid Who Doesn't Want Her Makeup Done

It happens at almost every single wedding that I have the pleasure of doing. The bride brushes it off as no big deal, but I know better. I’ve seen the havoc, and felt the anxiety it can cause when everyone least expects it. Most brides don’t understand the look of horror that comes over my face when they tell me they have 5 bridesmaids, but one of her girls has decided to go at it alone. 

Meet, The Hold Out…the bridesmaid who doesn’t “need” to get their hair and makeup professionally done for a wedding.

Now, I know there are probably many factors involved when it comes to a bridesmaid denying the opportunity to be pampered and primped the morning of the wedding. For most, it’s financial. For others, it’s a previous experience that has left them wary of trusting their precious face or gorgeous mane to another human being. But for a select few, it’s the fact that they think they know better. All valid reasons, but when it comes down to it, a hold out can potentially spell disaster during a bride’s getting ready process. Don’t believe me? Journey back with me to my first Hold Out experience…

It’s the wedding day. The bride and her girls are sipping on champagne, laughing about the antics from the rehearsal dinner, and feeling calm, relaxed, and ready to face the day. The bride watches as her girls are systematically transformed into the best versions of themselves; skin glowing, individual lashes lovingly applied, and hair expertly coiffed into a style that complements their perfectly hand-picked bridesmaids dress. She marvels at the way that each bridesmaid looks so fresh and natural, highlighting their unique facial features, and how their consistent neutral palette allows their own beauty to still shine through. Beautiful, no?

Enter…The Hold Out. While the bride and her girls have been getting ready with her team of stylists and makeup artists in the gorgeous natural light provided by the nearest window, The Hold Out has been getting ready in the hotel bathroom…under halogen lighting…using silver glitter eye shadow…and thick, garish strip eyelashes…with rhinestones. She walks out of the bathroom, and suddenly all eyes are on her, and you can see the horror creep into her eyes as she sees all of the other bridesmaids, looking gorgeous and uniform, when it slowly dawns on her…she should have gotten her hair and makeup done.

This is where panic and anxiety can reach a peak…the timeline is ridged, the photographer is there and the thought of being late to her first look has the bride’s chest in an icy grip. The Hold Out is thinking she would give anything to go back to that fateful group text the bride sent out 6 months ago, when she asked who wanted hair and makeup, and she foolishly declined…oh, if only she could go back and change her mind! *dramatic music*

*end scene*

Ok, so you get the picture right? You may laugh and think, oh she’s just being dramatic…and I am. But only because that moment when a Hold Out reveals herself, usually leads to drama. The Hold Out is usually pretty sly in pulling me aside and asking if it would be okay if she adds on hair and makeup, because well, she has no idea what she is doing. The good news, is that with over 10 years in the wedding beauty business, this is something that I have come to expect and started building into my timelines. The look of relief that washes over her face is priceless. The cost however, is not. As many makeup artists can tell you, day-of additions are typically at higher rate then if they had just added themselves to the initial contract. 

That is not to be said that every bridesmaid that declines hair and makeup is completely inept. That’s actually far from the truth.  Some bridesmaids that decline professional hair and makeup watch YouTube videos about contouring, strobing and baking, and they have *gasp* all 3 Naked palettes. They love all things Jacqueline Hill, Kat Von D, and Morphe. I guess you could say...they are kind of a big deal. Of COURSE they are going to do their own makeup, they do it every day! *hair flip* 

The thing is…it’s not every day. This is a wedding day. And a bride wants the girls in her wedding to be the gorgeous hand selected group she envisioned standing by her side for the past year. Her photos will last a lifetime, and unfortunately so will the memory of the silver glitter eye shadow. 

Things I have seen from The Hold Outs:

• The infamous silver glitter eye shadow
• 3 (count em’), 3 sets of strip lashes applied to each eye…yes one right on top of the other
• Mismatched foundation colors…nothing like having an ompaa lompaa in your bridal party...
• Gemstone strip lashes
• Highlighter applied over the entire face, leaving them looking like an actual headlight in all of the wedding photos.
• Peacock inspired ombre eyelids... fancy.
• Blue eyeliner…green eyeliner…purple eyeliner…anything that isn’t black or brown for the wedding day is wrong, I’ll just leave it at that
• Pink eyeshadow with white eyeliner…just no.
• Purple permanently tattooed eyebrows…yes EYEBROWS.
• Contouring…so…much…horrible…contouring…

As long as there are weddings, there will always be hold outs, which I try to look at as an opportunity to gently educate. When I fix them up and send them on their way, they usually say something to the tune of “Oh my gosh, thank you so much, this looks so much better then what I had in mind. You are SO good!”…to which my usual reply is, “Not my first rodeo…” 

And for those glorious hold outs that got away, their bad decision making skills for wedding hair and makeup will forever live on in wedding picture infamy.

***

Andi (Schafer) Sherman is a beauty blogger and owner of Something Blue Stylists, an onsite makeup and hair consultant, serving Indiana and California.

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