Newly Engaged and Not Sure Where to Begin?

FIRST THINGS FIRST

So, you’re newly engaged, and wondering where to begin. From my experience, there are three things you need to think about and do before moving forward with anything else.

1. First, you’ve got to have the money talk - or talks. While there are ways in which the expenses of a wedding were traditionally divided, those often no longer apply to many couples’ situations today. More and more couples are paying for part or all of their celebrations themselves. This sometimes results in a longer engagement period to allow expenses to be spread out and time for saving. Sit down with your intended, and talk about what you feel the two of you will be able to contribute to the wedding cost. Then, armed with that information, approach whoever else will be helping out. Today, this often includes both sets of parents, and sometimes grandparents. Find out what you have to work with first, because this will affect all your decisions down the road.

2. Next, begin your guest list. Start by listing all those who will be automatically invited: family, close friends. Then add others you wish to invite: additional friends, coworkers, parents’ friends. Once you have a rough number, you will be able to make sure the venues you visit are appropriately sized for your group. You can also compare your guest count to your budget to see if things are adding up. Many planning guides don’t talk about making the list until later in the process. However, I find it’s really important to have at least a rough idea of the numbers before doing anything else. There are many differences between a wedding with 50 guests and one with 300, and it’s not just the cost.

3. Finally, consider your date. Think about the season, month, or specific date you’d like to make into a special day for the rest of your life. Sure, for one day, it’s your wedding day. But, for the rest of your life, it’s your anniversary. Remember to consider if you like the idea of celebrating another year of marriage on that day each year. Also, think about your priorities here – if you have a specific date that is important or meaningful in some way that must be your wedding day, then you may need to be flexible on your venue or other professional choices. If the date is flexible, then you can shop around for a venue and other professionals that are truly a perfect fit.

These are just the first steps, but a great place to begin your journey. Remember, first and foremost, your wedding day should be a celebration of the love you as a couple share. Enjoy the journey, and remember the “why”: LOVE.