Ceremony Preparation: The “I Do’s”

He pops the big question, and you say yes! After sharing the news with your family and friends, what is your next instinct? Many recent brides would declare gown shopping first, reception venue second…and the list goes on and on. In the midst of planning for the ‘party’, many couples neglect to put time, thought and meaning into the actual wedding ceremony. I encourage you to budget time into your planning schedule (in the early months) to develop a personal, creative ceremony that will have your guests laughing, crying or both!

 

 

Begin by making a wish list. Do you want your ceremony atmosphere to reflect traditional weddings or do you want to mix it up a bit? Does your ceremony location require that you use their ceremony wording, readings, music, etc? The more stringent the rules, frankly, the easier it will be for you. The flip side of that is the lack of originality and personal reflection the ceremony will have on you and your groom. Even the most formal cathedrals and church doctrines are offering options to couples, such as musical selections, alternative poems and varied processionals.

 

 

Speaking of processionals, the rehearsal will go very smoothly if you determine exactly how you want the processional and recessional to run. Wedding planners and some church coordinators have forms that list each person and when they should enter. That is entirely up to you. Will groomsmen enter with the bridesmaids? Tall to short? Will the ring bearer have a ring pillow or a banner or a bell? You can see there are many options for that one small portion of the ceremony!

 

 

If you are a couple who want a lighthearted, custom ceremony, consider a venue that has no restrictions, such as an outdoor setting, hotel ballroom or historical home. Work with your officiant to create a personal, one of a kind ceremony. This could include:

 

 

 

• Music that is part of your history as a couple

• Readings that reflect your love of classic literature, Shakespeare, etc.

• Unity candles, sand ceremonies, water ceremonies

• Flowers in remembrance of those who have passed, or to parents

• Writing your own vows and words for the ring exchange (this could include passing the rings around for the guests to bless prior to the exchange)

 

 

When I got married, we took the time during a song from our soloist to hug each person in our wedding party and, as luck would have it, the song was finished as we returned to our spots – great timing! It provided an alternative from ‘gazing into each other’s eyes’ for what can seem like eternity during a special song.

 

 

A great way to bring in family members who are not in the wedding party is to have one person from the groom’s side and one from the bride’s side come to the altar and narrate a story about a favorite childhood memory. We did this and our brothers reflected on my love for being in the theatre as a young girl and my husband’s experience when learning how to ice skate for the first time. Both were very meaningful since we continue to pursue those passions, twenty two years later!

 

 

As a wedding planner and designer, I am on an endless search for new, unique ideas that can be a part of wedding ceremonies. There are so many resources available on the web and in wedding blogs, books and magazines. Start filing these early so they are handy when you begin developing your ceremony.

 

 

Another way to personalize is to create a program that ties into the overall style of the wedding. (See some options in the photos – rustic, formal, floral, and even one which includes confetti for the getaway car!) The program is a great way to give guests an indication of the wedding agenda, wedding participants, memorials to deceased relatives, directions to the reception, new address of the couple, and perhaps a word of thanks for the guest’s attendance. It can be a great memento of the celebration.

 

 

One final suggestion is to seriously consider how you want to exit the ceremony space, because that decision creates a domino effect in your wedding day itinerary. Will you leave and return for photos? Do you want a receiving line there? Do you want guests to wave goodbye as you head to the reception? Is there a space for these possibilities if it rains? All of these options take time and will delay the arrival of you and/or your guests to the reception site, so it needs to be considered.

 

 

Look back at your lives as you create your wedding ceremony. What made an impact on your lives, as individuals and as a couple? Bring that into your ceremony and it will become one where the guests head to the reception and say, “Their ceremony was PERFECT for them!”