Top 10 Worst Bridal Fads

If you go to a lot of weddings, you know that it is only human nature to create a mental checklist of things you like and things you don’t. I’ve been married 35 years and have attended a lot of weddings (my kids are 31 and 25.) While I’m a fan of celebrations that capture the couples’ personalities, the fads and trends can get overdone and, to be honest, somewhat tiresome and even annoying.

Some stuff I’ve seen that I wish I wouldn’t have:

Trash the Dress

This is number one on my list for a reason. How wasteful! I am of the generation that was taught that leaving food on one’s plate was a sin (the “now fat” generation). There are so many people out there just longing for a slightly used wedding dress. Surely this practice will just go away. Please.

Black Wedding Dresses

Okay, let’s get this straight: we all love the little black dress and everything Audrey Hepburn. But that doesn’t mean that if you jump in a black wedding dress, it will become an iconic image like Elizabeth Taylor in “Father of the Bride.” Dark colors are fine and slimming, but a large, black frock on your wedding day is not a good omen.

Two-piece Midriff-Baring Dresses

As flat as your stomach might be, we don’t need to see that on your big day. Enough said. If you fit in that really really form-fitting mermaid gown, that’s impressive enough.

Mason Jars

This was cute at the beginning, but we’re so over them. They scream rustic so much that they fit right in the “wedding cliché category.” I could lump burlap in here too. Although have you ever known someone who looked so good in clothes that you have said this person would look good in a burlap sack?

Garters and Bouquet Tosses

This tradition might have been entertaining in another decade or so, but today, it smacks of sexism and the bad part of days gone by. Just as we didn’t want to see your midriff, we don’t want to see your beloved under your dress. And please don’t force all the single ladies to prance out on the dance floor hoping to catch the bouquet. We’ve come farther than that. Please agree with me.

The Chicken Dance or the YMCA

Any dance that requires guests to squirm around on the dance floor should be banned from all celebrations. And yes, some of these specialty dances can be fun as a long day merges into a long evening. We all need to let off some steam. Doesn’t “Sweet Caroline” suffice?

Floral Rings

I will probably take a lot of heat for this one, because these head pieces are really popular now and provide a respite from the traditional veils. But unless you’ve got the perfectly shaped face or are getting married at a Shakespeare festival, I see them more as a centerpiece for the head. Just my opinion.

The Pastel Rainbow-colored Bridesmaid Dress

We’ve all been to these weddings, particularly if we’re over 50 and I’m not saying I am. Heck, I might have worn one of these during my bridesmaid years. You know, everyone is covered in big frilly chiffon in different pastel colors such as lavender, pink and yellow. The new mix and match bridesmaids dresses are much more appealing and sensible. Thank you designers of bridesmaid dresses. Thank you.

Bouduoir Shots

This makes me look like more of a prude than I am, but if you want this kind of thing, keep it private.

Disposable Cameras on the Table

 I really don’t want to take pictures at your wedding. That’s why you hired a photographer. Thankfully the disposable camera phase appears to have gone the way of the Polaroid.