What's Inside Comes Out: Coping with Stress

Our current economic environment gives added significance to traditional wedding vows: "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part."

While wedding vows and all the wedding event elements have been modernized, the stress of the planning process continues to cause great problems. The additional layer of financial pressure that we all feel only heightens this very normal and regularly experienced problem. When we are under pressure, what's inside comes out. Visualize a tube of toothpaste, a water balloon, a watermelon-if it gets squeezed, it explodes! The same principle applies with people. When we are stressed out, what's inside comes out.

How we respond to stress matters! The best way to cope with stress is to prepare. You don't have to know what will happen, but you can prepare for how you will react to it.

There will be problems. Wedding plans are being adjusted. Parents were planning to pay but have lost their jobs?maybe even at risk of losing their homes. Couples are concerned if they'll have enough money when they do get married. College students are wondering if they'll get a job once they graduate.

At the same time, people are still getting married. People are still working and paying for their homes. Couples are learning to budget, and college graduates are finding jobs.

Facing reality is critical to coping with stress. Don't ignore circumstances of your situation and don't exaggerate that the world is ending. Problem-solving begins with identifying the problem.

Deal with the physical signs. Irritability, fatigue, sleeplessness, eating too much-these are all the beginning signs of what's inside coming out. There are so many things that are potentially out of control, it?s really important to care for your self well.

You might say, "That's ridiculous! There's too much to do, and there's no time to rest." It may seem like you can't afford the luxury; the energy you will spend sorting through hurt feelings and relational carnage from emotional outbursts will far outweigh time spent on prevention.
Create routine in all of these. They can be as important as water and oxygen to your survival! Sometimes the most elementary things are the most important and the first to get pushed to the side.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. (A simple walk will do the trick.)
Eat right. Fruits, vegetables, protein, plenty of water-the stuff a mom would tell you!
Go to bed and get up on time. (Don't drink caffeine and expect to get to sleep.)
Slow your mind down. During the day or in the middle of the night, our thoughts can keep us worked up and can interrupt our rest. We can slow our minds down by slowing down our breathing. Inhale slowly and deeply for a count of 5. Hold the breath for a count of 2. Exhale slowly for a count of 5. Try it right now if you like!

Deal with the emotions. When we ruminate on something in our minds, it can literally turn into a monster! If something is upsetting you or angering you, there are a couple effective ways to get it out. Talk to a friend who can be objective as possible. Write it out in a private journal where you don't need to worry about anyone reading it.

The important thing here is 'to get it out.' When they are ignored or pushed down, they get all tangled up and further complicated. When we have emotional outbursts, we say things that are hurtful that we often regret. Unfortunately, the damage is done and someone else now has to deal with our junk because we didn't.

It's only on the outside that it can be brought into perspective. Deal with your emotions before they deal with you.

It's all about You and it's not all about You. It is your wedding day. It is special. It is a once in a lifetime experience. The wedding day creates moments that will last a lifetime. While the moments are enhanced with all the wedding details that we'll want to be perfect, it's not what matters. People matter. How we treat them really matters. Our greatest moments in life, the ones that we'll always remember, are the times spent with people that we love.

When we are under pressure, what's inside comes out. Shower those who mean the most to you with love!